Well this is exciting. We're so happy you were accepted to [insert school name here]. Before we send you off into the world, a few words of advice from your parents who know a little something about this thing we call life. First the clichés, but they are clichés because they are true. Pursuit what you love and what makes you happy although doing what you hate will make the happy things even better. Try new things and follow opportunities, the results could be beneficial or inconvenient, but the regret will be crippling.
Of course, don't do anything stupid. If you can't explain it to the paramedics, it is probably a really bad idea. Also, if someone comes from the future to stop you, it is a really bad idea.
Become good at throwing things away. There will be more space for the present, less to keep clean and fewer things to trip over. We believe this applies in both physical and metaphorical terms.
If someone asks you to participate in an experiment that involves electroshock therapy, say no.
Stick to beer and wine, they're much easier to control than hard liquors. However, if you do end up in a drunken stupor to the point that the room is spinning, find a corner to stare into. This will help you establish your x, y, and z coordinates and slow the spinning of the room. This can also be avoided by not drinking alcohol that was mixed in a bath tub.
So carry on my wayward son, I mean daughter, live long and prosper.
Love, Mom and Dad
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